Review: Chasing God

Chasing God

By Angie Smith

B & H Publishing January 2014

203 pages

Book provided by publicist for review

Angie Smith became a Christian as an adult and she was determined to do this thing the right way. She took lots of notes, she bought the big commentaries, and decided that she could be the perfect believer by sheer force of will. But she quickly realized that it was never enough - she was never knowledgeable enough or good enough. She was checking things off from her checklists one by one and chasing after this idea of a God who loved her, but she wasn't getting anywhere. Angie finally realized that she needed to stop running. God didn't need to be caught; he was simply waiting for her to look at Him, standing right next to her.

The Bible tells us pretty clearly that we do not need to do anything. Jesus died for us because He loves us and now we are free to love and be loved by Him. Angie realized that she was looking to reach goals that were man-made. She reached some of them, but there was always a new list of goals to achieve. The problem, of course, was that the goals were not God's goals. Reading a certain number of verses each day or attending every church service for a year will not allow you to know God more if you are not seeking Him.

Angie hits on so many things that make us freeze in place as Christians. She writes about the fallacy of worrying about our salvation, the tendency to mistake emotions for certainty, the ways in which we are always getting ready to know God instead of just starting, and the terrible misunderstanding that God only gives us what we can handle.

“The notion that our Abba Father would dispense injury based on our ability to “carry it” is injurious to our relationship with Him and casts light wrongly on our human capacity instead of His generous dispensation of grace…Do not believe for one moment that the good and bad that happen to you is in equal proportion to how much you can handle without cracking. Because if we could do such a magnificent job of managing things, the sacrifice of Jesus would have been unnecessary.”

I have read all of Angie's books. I started with I Will Carry You, her heartbreaking memoir of losing her daughter and have since read What Women Fear and Mended. This author is at her best when she can be open, kind, and funny all at the same time. She does that here on every page, as she shows us how to know God instead of chasing after our ideas about Him. Chasing God is Smith's best book yet. 

Review: Mended

Mended: Pieces of a Life Made Whole

By Angie Smith 

B and H Publishing Group 2012

183 Pages

From Shelton Interactive

This devotional is a collection of popular posts from Angie Smith's blog Bring the Rain. Each chapter focuses on the ways God can use people who are broken, people who feel as if they have nothing to give. She gets the idea for the book from a project she undertakes after the death of her daughter Audrey. Angie can't shake an idea that she read in a book on grieving - that breaking a piece of pottery can help with the healing process. So Angie shatters a pitcher and begins to painstakingly glue it back together.

She realizes that "this pitcher was my life, and every piece was a part of the story that He had chosen to put together. I started crying, and remembering things I thought I had forgotten. It took a long time to finish, but it was time well spent. Every nook and cranny whispered to me, until at last it stood in all its imperfection.
Here you are, Angie. You are mended. You are filled with My Spirit, and I am asking you to pour yourself out.
The image of my life as a broken pitcher was beautiful to me, but at the same time, it was hard to look at all of the cracks. I ran my fingers along them and told Him I wished it had been different. I wished I had always loved Him, always obeyed Him, always sought Him the way I should. I was mad at the imperfections, years wasted, gaping holes where it should be smooth.
But God, my ever-gracious God, was gentle and yet convicting as He explained.
My dearest Angie. How do you think the world has seen Me? If it wasn't for the cracks, I couldn't seep out the way I do. I chose the pitcher. I chose you, just as you are." 

This book is written in a very conversational way. It's easy to imagine that Angie has invited you over for a cup of coffee and a chat or that you happen to be in the same Bible study group. She is a gracious writer, open to telling you her failures and her fears. She discusses the ways in which we feel we are unworthy of God and his grace in relation to Peter, she imagines how our lives would change if we challenge ourselves to do just one better, and she learns about the way God directs our lives as she imagines what her future might look like.

This is a good read, but perhaps it has more impact when it is savored. I read through the book in a few days and found myself engaged, but I didn't have the impulse to get through just a few more pages. If you are at a point in your life where you are truly doubting if God can love you in spite of your mistakes, this would be an excellent choice for insight from a woman who has been in that same dark place. 

My reviews of Angie Smith's I Will Carry You and What Women Fear can be found here. 

To the guys and gals of the FTC: I received this book from Shelton Interactive in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, Andrea! 

Review: What Women Fear

What Women Fear

By Angie Smith

B & H Books September 2011

As wives, as mothers, as women, we tend to fear a lot of things. We worry that our husband might lose his job, our mother could have another stroke, or that our precious child might get hit by a car while out riding their bike. Angie Smith’s book What Women Fear looks at her own deep-seeded fears in light of the Bible and a relationship with a heavenly Father.

Each fear is connected to someone from the Bible. Fear of the what if correlates with Hagar, who wondered if she could have done something different to keep her son safe with his father instead of dying out in the desert. She is so consumed with fear that she doesn’t even see the well that God has provided to save him. Job has fears of rejection, abandonment and betrayal when his wife and friends tell him that God has left him and he should curse his maker. Jonah fears what God has planned for his life and that it will not match his own plans.

The most striking chapter concerns Peter walking on the waves towards Jesus. Smith writes about doubt, our fear that God isn’t who he says he is or doesn’t have the power to fulfill his promises. “I don’t think it’s possible to live this life without room for doubt. And even more shockingly, I don’t think God holds it against us. After all, if He wanted us to know we could walk on water, I think He would have designed us to do it.”

This book is obviously not going to pack as much of an emotional punch as Smith’s previous book, I Will Carry You. That being said, this would be a great book for a women’s bible study. Actually, it’s a great book for anyone, although it is marketed towards women. Many of the biblical examples are men and I have to imagine that men have fears too…they just deal with them differently.

Ms. Smith is a lovely writer. You can tell with each sentence that she really wants to help her readers find faith in spite of their fear, instead of being paralyzed by it. She believes that we can all find balance on this tightrope of life, that “the more we tap into a life balanced by Christ, grounded in knowing Him and His Word, the less we have to worry about falling off. It’s still scary up here, no question, but if we can get a firm grip on that which steadies us, it will look different.”

Review: I Will Carry You

I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy

By Angie Smith

B & H Books May 2010

 

Angie and Todd Smith were thrilled to discover they were expecting their third daughter. At an eighteen week ultrasound, they were devastated when their doctor told them that their baby was ‘incompatible with life.’ Her kidneys were not functioning, her heart was enlarged, and there was no amniotic fluid present. She did not appear to have a bladder, a stomach, or chambers separating her heart. Angie’s doctor advised that they terminate the pregnancy. If the baby lived to full term, she would likely only survive a few moments outside of her mother’s body.

Angie and Todd decided to give their daughter as much of a chance as she could have. “She was our daughter and we would fight for her.” They named their daughter Audrey. They decided to do everything possible with their third baby – they went to Disneyland, they spent time as a family, and Angie talked to her daughter and let her know that she was loved. This is the story of Audrey’s life, her death, and the journey that family took together.

To read this book, you are going to need tissues – lots and lots of tissues. I first heard Angie speak at the Women of Faith Conference in Philadelphia. I cried then and I cried several times reading this book – not polite tears streaming down my face, but torrents of water accompanied by sniffles.

Angie Smith is a beautiful writer and a brave human being. She returns to the darkest moments of her life so that she can share her grief and insight with her readers. This book is raw and honest. This writer is unafraid to admit that she does not have all of the answers, only trust in the one who does.

“The two of us have covered so much ground in this sacred dance we call pregnancy. I feel bonded to her in a way I never did with my others because I know this is all I have. And yet there is so much I can never give her.

I want her to know that I was funny.

That I would have come at three in the morning if she got scared and needed a ride.

That I would have loved to have heard the sound of her children floating through my house as I got older.

I wanted to try and fit a lifetime of love into a few short months, and as we approach the end of the road, it occurs to me that there isn’t enough time to tell her everything. And so now I have to trust a different side of God the Father. Will you tell her all about me and what I would have been to her? Will you show her glimpses of how we would have lived life together?”

Throughout the book, Angie parallels her journey with the biblical story of Mary and Martha. She begins to truly understand their story when they send for Jesus – “Lord, the one you love is sick.” The sisters knew that Jesus knew their brother, loved him, and could heal him. Likewise, Angie knew that Jesus already knew and loved her baby and she called out for Him to heal her daughter.

This is a beautiful book for someone who has lost a loved one, for parents, for those going through tough times. It’s really a book for everyone because dark days are a reality for us all –each of us have moments of doubt and grief. The story of baby Audrey and the ways in which she touched the hearts of her family and those around them will resonate with readers in a very profound way.