Tuesday, September 13, 2016
Grownup Friends and Reading MWF Seeking BFF
I picked up this book because I'm feeling that I could use a few more friends in my life. My best friend since high school is across the country these days, none of my three sisters live especially close by, and I don't work in a large company where I could go out with co-workers. My husband is the pastor of our church so while I am close with many people there, thing tend to be a bit more complicated. Our neighborhood has a lot of older teachers with grown children and I have an eight year old and a two year old. I'm also an introvert, so the idea of chatting up total strangers tends to give me a bit of anxiety.
Reading MWF Seeking BFF was reassuring for me as Bertsche confirmed that I am not the only one who gets a little jealous when I read about people calling friends over for a spur of the moment visit. Making friends as an adult is much harder than it was when I was in kindergarten and asked the girl at the next cubby if she wanted to be my friend.
It also confirmed something I dread as an introvert. To make new friends, you really have to put yourself out there again and again. Some people will not want your friendship and some people won't click with you. But on occasion, the woman you chat with at the indoor playground will offer to exchange numbers (true story; this happened the other week). So I'm going to do my introvert best. I'm going to try to talk to more people. I'm going to see if taking a class or pursuing a new interest will lead to some new friends in my life.
Bertsche has a very easy conversational writing style and I think she hits a great balance between her own experiences and sharing some research about the benefits of friendship. However, there is a point about halfway through the book when she has met a lot of new people and is finding that her schedule is almost insanely full. For the second half, it feels much more like a stunt memoir where the author has to go on a certain number of outings with potential new friends, even though she has no more time or attention to give them.
Making friends as an adult is difficult. Free time is precious and it's hard to know who is interested in starting up a new relationship. Reading a book like MWF Seeking BFF can certainly give us all some ideas for making new friends and encourage us that we are not alone in needing a friend or two.
MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search For A New Best Friend
By Rachel Bertsche
Ballantine Books December 2011
From the library